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Giving Tuesday 2020

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With your help, Giving Tuesday 2020 was phenomenal for BIND. 

Our day began with a goal to double a $10,000 donation, and YOU GUYS SHOWED UP. Not only was the challenge met at $20,000, but our supporters also TRIPLED efforts to raise more than $34,800! And – several of our donors have asked their employers to match their gifts – bringing our Giving Tuesday grand total to $36,700 and change! 

As our community continues to respond to the impact of Covid, our organization has persevered through a year of unexpected challenges that have impacted all of our goals and programs. We will continue to adapt and provide the highest level of services to survivors of stroke, traumatic brain injury, and brain cancer who live in Dallas, Collin, Tarrant Counties, and beyond. 

Because of you, we can continue our valuable work to inspire hope, restore purpose for survivors, and maintain our connection to each other and the greater community. On behalf of our members and caregivers, our staff and volunteers, and the BIND board of directors – Thank You. 

Enjoy this message from our Members: https://www.facebook.com/111992482241131/videos/2731481227164018 

Pity Is Not For Us

By Blog, News

By Karl K

I was a facilitator for the Men’s Group at BIND (Brain Injury Network of Dallas) on September 5.  That meeting had a profound effect on me.  We had a record nine participants to discuss this topic.  

I could not get this out of my mind.  As a result, I started to gather more comments, and publish these in this blog post for BIND.

This is the question we discussed that morning:  “What do you think about other people who feel PITY because they know you have gone through a brain injury?”

Pity is defined as “the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.”  Or, “the feeling when you witness the misfortune or suffering of someone who is worse off than you. Pity is feeling bad for someone else, because they are in an unfortunate situation, or at least, in a situation that is worse than your own.” 

What hit me was:  “Is that what we want?  Or, to feel pity for us?”   I asked several members:  “How do you react to this? What do you want people to feel and say instead?”

This reminded me about the Muscular Dystrophy campaign which lasted for years with Jerry Lewis.  You may remember that there was an all-night annual Telethon to raise money for “his kids.”   The show was live and produced nationally in Las Vegas and featured many stars in television and cinema.  It was very successful until it moved its focus into pity.  That is not what neither the sponsors nor the families and children wanted.  The program fizzled out into obscurity.

You will find ample stories and case studies about brain injury.   We do not need to repeat these.  However, there is a clear difference in how each of us might think.  If we think that we are helpless and are filled with regret and sorrow, we may seek pity.  In those cases, we would want people to take care of us.  What happens when we shift our thinking?   In those cases, the goal turns to take care of one’s self. 

So, what do we want instead?  In our discussion it was clear that the participants want to be “real” about what happened to us.  

We do not want to sugar-coat our experience.  We do not want to be talked to like children.  We want facts to learn what the next steps in recovery will be.  

Our members do not seek pity to raise any money for our recovery.  What is more important is a stronger understanding of what happened to us.  We want to know how we can help ourselves and others around us.   We either want to prevent a repeat of the injury, or learn to cope with it.  We want to move on.  We are willing to work in a different way even if it is slower and painful.  The last thing we want is to stand still.

Here are two comments I received:

SusanF

Being affected by my brain injury has been surprisingly positive for me. BIND, new friends, fun, happiness, and so on. Pity can be for others. Learning so much about the brain and how it works gives me a lot of pride – and understanding of others who also are affected by brain injuries. Thanks for asking!

DavidS

“I do not mind talking about my brain injury.  But, if that is all we talk about, I lose interest quickly.” 

         To me, this positive attitude is great to maintain.  Obviously, we have down days and have doubts about the nature of our recovery.  But, the question becomes not only what happened to us.  We do not surrender anything about our condition.  We look where we are going next and how to accomplish that.  

         We do not need pity.  Pity does not help anyone.  We need help in other ways that are productive.  Feeling sorry for us does not do that.

Patience is a virtue.

By Blog, News, Resources, Uncategorized

By Karl K.

Patience is a virtue.  The problem is that most of us do not have much of it.  The current generation has moved us into a state of instant gratification.  People want things now.

Not everyone believes that patience is a key to success.  I spoke to 80 students last year who wanted to major in Speech Pathology.  Many of them wanted to become therapists. At the close of the meeting, I wished all of them much luck, and a great career. And then, I stopped and said, “if you do not have great patience, you need to find something else to do.”  Short of knowledge and wisdom, patience is the most important behavior for a professional to display.

I see patience manifested every day.  I am now in an organization called BIND (Brain Injury Network of Dallas).  The directors and volunteers are the most patient people I have never been around!  They may need to hit their heads a few times after getting home, but you would never know it while they work.  They answer questions, help members walk and use a wheelchair, put up with constant interruptions, repeat instructions, and urge participants in a discussion to stay on the subject at hand.  I can tell you that I could not do what they do, and they do it very well.

As I write this blog, this week I am leading a group who wants to know how they can help others who have had language and speech difficulties.  The formal term is aphasia.  There are many ways to do that including the following:

  • Be patient
  • Use plenty of time
  • Establish the topic
  • Use “yes” and “no” questions
  • Repeat and ask for understanding

Patience is important to someone who needs help, but who cannot be rushed.  Have you ever said this:  “how long do I need to take this medicine?”  “How many visits to have to the doctor until I am healed?”  Some things are not in your control.  Some things cannot be rushed.  You cannot hurry plants to grow, make the weather cooler, or cram for test that you should have studied for weeks, but you did not.  You may be a Christian.  You pray that God will make something happen for your family.  He may, but the reality is that He works on his own time, not yours.

Experts explain that four steps are needed to increase patience with others.  

  1. Make yourself wait
  2. Stop doing things that are not important
  3. Be mindful of the things that make you impatient
  4. Relax and take deep breaths

Taken from the video “Always Thinking”, October 30, 2019

Think how the world would be a better place if we just use only 10% more patience.  How would you use that time?   You do not have answer right now.  Be patient!

The Silver Lining

By Blog, News, Resources

By Jenny T

BIND IN QUARANTINE 

While every brain injury is unique, most brain injury survivors experience social isolation at some point in their recovery which often leads to depression and anxiety. Some studies suggest that the risk for developing depression following a traumatic brain injury may be two to five times higher than in the rest of the population.

One of the most important functions of BIND is to reconnect those brain injury survivors with the community, and rehabilitate their ability to interact with others. This can only be accomplished through relationships.

Therefore,quarantine and social distancing, while absolutely necessary, directly oppose the BIND mission. However, people who survive brain injury tend to prove time and time again that we can overcome any obstacle set in our way. We believe This time in our history will be no different. 

Since a large percentage of BIND membership falls within the “high risk” category for COVID-19, we were among the first to follow CDC and WHO guidelines and “close the doors” of the physical clubhouse. But not without first creating and distributing care packages for our members, thanks to our staff, volunteers and program interns. 

Once it became evident that this quarantine would not be over quickly, it was decided to take the BIND program online, rather than leave our members once again feeling abandoned in the mire of loneliness. BIND volunteers and staff quickly began working remotely to provide virtual resources. After a few hiccups and some extra education we began to use Zoom and a private social media group to host our morning meetings, brain games, art classes, support groups, and many other activities, giving members near and far access to our service and a chance to participate in a community, albeit on a screen. 

Consequently, members that might have become more withdrawn and lost touch with one another have been able to maintain those vital connections. Member, Karl K. Says,”I used to attend BIND only one day a week, because I cannot drive, but now I am able to be here so much more and I love it, I really do.”  And Susan F. Stated that “ During this Global Pandemic, BIND has helped me to do something (other than nothing). M-F, I’m very active in BIND and am incredibly grateful and thankful. What a blessing BIND is to me – and since I’m doing “good stuff,”  my family is also grateful. and thankful——when I’m taken care of, the family is happy.  THAT IS  A TRUE GIFT!!”

Of course BIND members would rather be together, as everyone craves human interaction. For some, learning to use technology has been a struggle, others have fallen back into negative patterns such as staying in bed or arguing with caregivers and family members. This only highlights the need for the BIND family and the encouragement that can only come from someone who has “been there.” Various members, volunteers and staff have gone above and beyond to make sure everyone stays in contact whether by phone, email, text, or zoom meeting thereby embracing our favorite motto “We rise by lifting others. ” 

 Some new interests have also been born out of this necessity. Horse racing, which was introduced by volunteer Andrea, has become a hot topic. “it has been very educational; the horses and how it actually works. It keeps me busy and gives me something to do other than focusing on being alone,” remarks member Carrie P. 

Art has long been a staple of brain rehabilitation, and BIND has always strived to incorporate it into our planning. But what does that look like with video conferencing and limited access to supplies? Personally, that’s been my favorite part. Jasmine (BIND employee) not only gave us drawing prompts and tips, she taught us how to tour museums virtually through Google arts and culture, which opened up a whole new world to us. We also had a lot of fun recreating famous works of art with household objects.  You can check this out on our social media platforms:

https://www.facebook.com/111992482241131/posts/2886619408111744/ and https://www.instagram.com/p/B_Fl62bH5S8/?igshid=lio8v4pp1nd9

David S. States his favorite has been the improvement in the structure of the men’s {support} group, he enjoys the topics that have been discussed and complimented Karl K. for his hard work in this area. 

And just in case you were worried about BIND’S brand new garden provided by Kenlee Landscaping Services and MetroTex Leadership Class #28  – don’t be.  BIND members and volunteers, who are able, have been stopping by, at separate times, to water, weed and tend to our flourishing plants. Thank you to those that have helped. 

Hosting Synapse Laps virtually this year was another first for the BIND staff.  Synapse Laps was very successful and we were able to raise $3,000. The event also encouraged our members, staff and volunteers to get in some good, safe exercise. This was one more example of progress through flexibility. 

Hopefully this quarantine will come to an end soon, and BIND members can once again get used to a new normal. But until that day we will weather this storm together, but apart.

Working After Stroke

By Blog, News, Newsletter, Resources

Recovering from a Stroke and Returning to Work
By: Megan

It took me six-years and seven-months plus twenty-days to return to the workforce after my stroke; I returned to my profession as a software engineer. Shortly after my injury, I had a calendar where I would mark days off until I could go back. I stopped counting the days after a year when I realized that was not going to happen. All I wanted was for my life to be normal again. I never imagined that it would take me that long to return to work.

Strokes can happen at any age. According to the Texas Traumatic Brain Injury Advisory Council Report (2014), 34% of strokes survivors are under the age of 65. I had my stroke at age 29. It resulted in global aphasia. In the beginning, I could not speak nor could I understand anything. My stroke was bad; it was bilateral. 

I was in formal speech therapy for over four years. Speech therapy is not cheap. My insurance paid for sixty sessions each calendar year. I had to pay the rest out-of-pocket which came from my 401k savings. My speech therapist gave me homework assignments to do that resulted in my husband becoming a part-time speech therapist. Year-after-year, I kept improving even though many medical professionals told me that progress ends after six-months. Eventually, due to financial constraints, I had to start looking for financial alternatives to keep progressing. This was when I started looking into going to BIND.

I tried to go back to work a year after my stroke as my job would be held for me. I wanted to get as much rehab as I could before I went back. My employer would not allow me to return; they said that it was not safe. At this point in my life, I was hopeless. I had to rebuild my life from the ground up. I did not want to give up because it is not my nature. My husband and I discussed different possibilities such as moving to a different area or state. I did not know how things would workout but we kept pressing forward.

I have faced tons of negativity in my recovery. It started when I was in the ICU when the doctors told my family that I would never work again. I cannot count the number of people that tried to reduce my confidence over the entire time-period. However, I had a few people in my corner rooting for me, which includes BIND, PCP, and audiologist.  

When you do not return to work after an injury, depression is a major hurdle. Bills do not stop. I still had student loans even though I was not working.  My student loans were discharged due to permanent disability after three years. Losing your job is an emotional blow; I did not feel like I had a life-purpose outside my profession. Many rehab professionals told me to look at other jobs or to take a part-time job. They suggested that I look at the SSDI ticket-to-work program that allows SSDI recipients to work while getting social security. My life situation did not allow for that since I was on LTD (long-term disability) and SSDI. If I went back to work, I would lose all benefits. I was the breadwinner in our marriage, so I had to make smart financial decisions. In my experience, these restrictions keep people from returning to work. 

My first rehab kept telling me to look for volunteer positions, but I was scared because I was worried that I would lose my LTD (long-term disability). On Facebook, I talked to a woman who was on LTD and she always stressed her limitations on the required paperwork to prevent it from being taken away; I utilized this woman’s tactic. Over the course of my recovery, I volunteered at a few libraries, hospital, and horse rescue. My goal was to gain connections so I could return-to-work somewhere. Before taking my current job, my goal was to work at the hospital that I volunteered at in the IT department, so I did not have to move away from my family.

Attending BIND helped me to regain my confidence. Formal speech therapy focuses on the patient’s limitations; they try to fix what is wrong. BIND focuses on strengths. One thing that I have going for me is my strong work ethic. My injury did not change this personality attribute; all of my rehabs recognized it and BIND recognized it too. I became BIND’s communication leader. If given a chance, I always knew that I would shine. I read leadership books to learn how to model behavior and give praise so that I could make members feel productive.  Helping others helped me regain my confidence. 

This sad story has a positive ending. I returned to work a month ago. So far, I’m thriving in my job. My recovery journey has led me to meet all kinds of different people and situations; this includes doctors, therapists, BIND staff/members, and community volunteers.  I returned to work for my first boss in my first job as a software engineer. With all the twists and turns, my life has a sense of normalcy again. 

Pre-Eclampsia To Brain Bleed

By Blog, News

Hello! My name is Meghan G. In 2004, at 8 months pregnant with my son, I developed pre-eclampsia. It is pretty scary, and the only cure for it is the delivery of the baby. During my pregnancy, I was very irritable and gained very little weight. I was also nauseated most of the time. I started to complain of not feeling well. I slept more than usual. In March of 2004, my ultrasound indicated that my due date was to be June 13. At that time, the doctor said that the baby was very small–around 4 pounds. I also had swelling in my right hand and complained of pain. I was told that I had heartburn, and was given Pepcid.
On April 26, 2004, I called my mom and told her that I was swollen to the point of crying, and thought that I was in labor. My mom told me to call my doctor and inform her of the situation, involving my back and pain in my right side. I called the doctor’s office, and  I was told that they would call me back.The phone call was returned three days later, on April 29th. They said I was doing too much and that I needed to stay in bed. The doctor’s staff did not tell me to come in and to see the Dr. I, then, woke up on April 30th with a very bad headache, and my right side was hurting. At 8am, I was vomiting in the kitchen sink. My sister asked me if she needed to stay with me but I was unable to answer her. She thought I was mad at her but she went to school any way.
The day continues. My mom began calling the house and called from 2:00 PM until 3:10 PM. No one is answering. My dad and sister came home from school to find me having a seizure on the bed at 3:30PM. My dad immediately called 911 to have them take me to the hospital. I arrived at the hospital at 4PM. I was unresponsive. My mom and my ex husband arrived there at 4:15pm. I am also having respiratory problems and my blood pressure was 145/100.  My doctor arrived at 5PM, and I was transferred into labor and delivery. My doctor tried to do a natural birth, but when she did my blood pressure shot up to 212/130. My baby’s heart rate fell to 60. My mother was asked to leave the room. I was taken into an operating room for an emergency c-section.
My son, Tyler, was born at 5:30pm weighing 3lbs and 8 ounces. I was comatose, and I was taken for a cat scan. The doctors came out and told my mom and husband that I had a massive brain bleed. At 8:00 PM, I was taken to Tyler, Texas by helicopter for immediate surgery. My son was transported to Dallas by ambulance, because they had only one helicopter and I was considered the more critical patient. My son was placed on a ventilator and arrived at 12:30, May 1st. They did not expect me to survive in the hospital at Tyler, Texas.
I was in a coma for a week. However, God knew my two kids needed a mom. My mom hung up scripture verses in my room, along with a picture of my son.  The scripture verses my mom hung in my room were Mathew 18:18-20; Luke 9:11 and Proverbs 15:30. No hospital staff thought I would make it out okay, but I did; and my son did as well. Even our pastor didn’t think I would survive. However, God had other plans for me.
God has shown me that life is very fast. We don’t know when we are going to die. I almost died at age 23. But, he knew that my kids needed me. I became a real Christian whereas before I was not. Even though I forget things, I laugh it all off and say that it was from a brain bleed. I am glad that He let me live and have a relationship with Him and my kids.  

And the people, when they knew it, followed him; and he received them, and spake unto them of the kingdom of God, and healed them that need of healing

Luke 9:11